toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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