tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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