Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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