Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
