So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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