if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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