someone threw a dead crab at me
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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