Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He better not be in your backpack
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
