You're completely useless in the revolution.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
