im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You left your phone here
Wait...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
