just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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