All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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