Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
