I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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