I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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