I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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