I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
