Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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