I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
