i think i have two assholes
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
