I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
