he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
COCAINE IS GR8
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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