just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
