is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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