But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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