then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
