So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
