imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
