Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
