My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Its about making memories worth repressing
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
