you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
