Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
