Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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