I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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