So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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