guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
