So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
