i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
well you can't waste a boner
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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