Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize