I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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