I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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