Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
