Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
