You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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