I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
