That's intense
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
