I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
