I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
