he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
