dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
