my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize