You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
