he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
