She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
