Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
