dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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