Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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