I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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